Overheard recently – you supply the context:
"She really likes karaoke, so let's not go there."
"No honey, walking behind you is an endless parade of joy."
"You could go in there, drop a pennie, and fart, and it wouldn't matter."
"It's not like you wanna bite the head off."
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TMI + Vaudeville:
Powder blue, XL too,
Caught some accidental poo –
Some dumpster diver gets my drawers!
Can't go play, it's laundry day,
These doo-doo undies cannot stay –
Some dumpster diver gets my drawers!
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Only a tattoo-sleeved war vet in a wheelchair can get away with saying at Denny's:
"How does a one-eyed turd sniper with false teeth and three toes missing go about getting an order of bacon & pancakes from one of you clap-magnets?"
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From the Banana Split Room high atop the fine Hotel Crystal, it's Red Cherry and his Rainbow Sprinkles, whipping up the cream of yesterday's hits – sweet music with taste! Featuring the treacly vocals of Miss Vanilla Scoops, and laying it on thick is the 'Old Ladler' himself, Sir Upchoc O'Latt! Also singing second layer is Cara Mell, and Pia Nutz!
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It took me 45 years to realize I'm nobody, and the world was dropping hints all along!
You just realized you're an aloof over-acheiver? Well, now you've GONE and DONE IT!
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