July, Random July

I have no problem with someone being richer than me. It's when that person has an obsessive need to keep reminding me of it, that's when we have problems.

The Ark was built by an amateur, the Titanic by professionals.

The "Big 3" network newscasts are in trouble, ratings-wise. Katie Couric seems to be the "bottom" no matter how you juggle the numbers. That's a public ménage à trois scooting closer to the gutter with each thrust.

Ronald Reagan was right about one thing: an intergalactic invasion just might be what the world needs to eliminate a whole slew of problems.

Hey kids, the big secret is that grownups are just guessing at life too.

I often wonder what plans Lee Harvey Oswald had for the weekend before he got the big phone call.

I've had a sad feeling, that we've entered a strange era in America – where all the bullshit that used to just happen peripherally, which our parents handled, now has taken center-stage, and has become modern life's main struggle to the average adult, on top of all the "normal" hardships. We've allowed the demagogues, money-changers, politico-paths and talking heads to strip the land of its ability to support the needs and desires of the common man, turn it into a giant bureaucratic colander that drains away the human spirit to achieve, and leaves only a bulk of manufactured dependency. A place where neither science nor religion retain any genuine influence, as both are simply manipulated to shore up the agenda of those in power. I've always held the belief – and still do – that science and religion are not adversaries. As we grow and come to understand both fuller, we will discover, I believe, that they are just two different languages, telling the same story. Science represents mankind's collective desire to understand his place in the universe, and religion is the expression of his deeper consciousness to appreciate it. We've abandoned both, and set the two concepts at odds with each other, just as we have turned upon ourselves from within. Everyone is a self-contained center of a personal universe – oblivious to the searchable truths of science and the self-evident insights of religious morality. We've become our own zombie plague. And now that you are cheered up...

Popping a really big pimple sort of brings on a feeling of conquest.

Tanya Roberts played the title role in "Sheena," and was a Bond girl. In her vacation-shilling radio ads for Las Vegas, she sounds like a chubby New Jersey housewife working from home part-time as a travel agent.

I stopped having a mental "Top 10 Babes" list when I realized that half of mine were by now senior citizens... or dead.

Reality check: More people are on to your bullshit than you realize. They're just being nice.

Howling at the moon doesn't make you spiritual, it makes you predictable. Think about it.

The most complicated version of Coca-Cola: Caffeine-free, diet black cherry-n-vanilla Coke Zero, with Splenda. No, that can't be it. I'll try again later.