Horses, rabbits, and geese may consume the same grass from the same field, yet the horse's shit comes out in large steaming clumps, the rabbit's shit exits as tiny pellets, and the goose's shit goes forth in long green ribbons. Consider this the next time you hear a newscast offer a segment consisting of "differing opinions" on any given subject.
Love and hate aren't the opposite ends of the spectrum, but passion and indifference.
There are people in government who wish you and I would just shut up, stay indoors and eat our Big Macs like good little drones.
Bill Clinton has done two things that no one else will ever do, at least both in the same lifetime. He's been president. And he's seen Hillary pole dance.
A few ideas of what three wishes to ask your genie:
1. A do-over fourth wish (which, when you think about it, is pointless, since you must use up a wish to wish for it – leaving you with the original three wishes. Hmm.)
2. Immunity to the coming zombie plague
3. A Dennys staff becomes inexplicably competent whenever you enter
1. The ability to produce and hurl flaming porcupines
2. Instant mastery of all dances
3. A standing 30-foot tall pile of cow shit that obeys your every command like the Golem of Prague
1. For the words "... and much, much more" in advertising to actually mean something
2. An epic, $100 million dollar film that begins with a scene of a sheepherder lighting an M-80 firecap in his ass (this one just might come true, have you seen what passes for movies these days?)
3. The first 3-D, smell-o-vision movie: of a movie ending, and a walk through the exit door of the theater, to your car. The title: "Dejavu." Guaranteed you'll be thinking about it for the entire drive home.
