Overheard during the holidays...
"Give this box of candy to your department, with my compliments. I ate all the ones I like."
"Don't pay any mind to that Christmas tree – our actual Christmas tree is in the other room."
"Remember when they made Christmas lights that could set the house on fire? Yeah, it was fun then."
"I talked to Santa Claus. She ain't buying you THAT!"
"Hey all you all all have a good ol' – all of you have a good – whatever, OK?"
"Stop that crying right now, or no more brussels sprouts!"
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According to the ancient Mayans, we now have less than a year left until... something. Maybe it's a big cosmic "Go Back To Square One" card.
I've often wondered if they really believed the world would just stop and disappear, or did the invading Spanish disrupt any further carving at the Mayan Calendars-R-Us? Or maybe the carvers just ran out of room and figured that the calendar they had already was aesthetically pleasing?
My marketing idea for an End of the World Party kind'a fell through. Four words: Mayan Calendar Jello Mold. Thoughts?
In 2011 we've already sent one Doomsdayer, Harold Camping, packing to Zealot Palms Retirement Village, rubbing his temples in frustration and shame. Will he have historical company in 2012? Will we skewer the Mayans with a similarly jocular post-modern cynicism? The only difference is that the Mayans aren't around anymore, to catch their blank, humiliated expressions for YouTube.
I think we will sooner bring about an "End" with our ever-expanding, techno-ccentric distractions from actual life and each other's tangible proximity.
On that note, Happy New Year!
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In the past I have made a tradition out of getting on everyone's nerves with those stupid end-of-year wrap-up newsletters. I realize you are all fainting out of building anticipation for that pithy, condensed summary of what happened in my previous twelve months. Alas, I'm out of wind.
Let's see if I can do it in a paragraph. (Big breath...) I marked my 1-year anniversary with neuropathy. My graphic art career came to an abrupt end when my employer of 20 years decided to outsource my work to somewhere on the other side of the globe. I got a Red Ryder BB Rifle for Christmas, and no, I didn't put my eye out – it's still in its packaging in the hope it will transform into a collector's investment at some point years from now.
The only meaningful change has been... YOU. The cherished friendships, old and new, have made the hugest difference in my 2011, and I'm more than sure that miracle will repeat in 2012. Happy New Year everyone! Luv yaz!
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