The Old Rover Boy

Executive privilege is not a license to have fun breaking the law. We are currently plagued, however, by quite a number of governmental types who seem to think that's exactly what it means. Recall one of Richard "Tricky Dick" Nixon's famous quotes: "When the President does it, that means that it is not illegal."

Only Karl is not the President (there is a God). In fact, he's not even a certified member of government anymore. He's a private citizen who somehow still believes in his federal immunity to his own past.

His business card now just says the truth, plain and simple: Karl Rove, Motherfucker.

One of his dreams was a permanently established republican majority in Congress. Sorry, but that not only isn't how a democracy works, it isn't even how a REPUBLIC works.

He still has his ensconced friends, whose skirt tails he predictably runs behind, in these last few months of an administration that he used as a giant personal dildo upon the American public. Only the clock is ticking. Day by day, more of his pals will abandon him in their own mad dash out of the federal whorehouse. It will get difficult to keep washing his hands harder and harder and still smell that lingering trace of butt lube on them.

If 9-11 was indeed a covert government set-up foisted upon its own people to create an excuse to re-invade Iraq, here is a leading candidate for one of its masterminds...

Outing government covert agents – endangering them, their families and other federal agents in doing so – all to keep a lid on the cauldron of lies concerning the Iraq War. A nobler nation would call that high treason.

Tampering with the Department of Justice to promote party agendas. That's called malfeasance.

Scapegoating cronies. (Can you say "Scooter?")

High-up monkeying with voter counts in the presidential elections, not just for his boss, but quite probably to insure his own continued power base. Well, alright, Karl isn't the first to do that one.

Firing 9 U.S. Attorneys simply because of their personal politics.

Destroying incriminating e-mail evidence regarding all of the above. That's a felony if you or I do it.

Casting all blame for federal inaction in the wake of Hurricane Katrina upon the local (Democratic) officials whose homes and livelihoods were annihilated along with those of their constituents. That's like the fox blaming the chickens for being in the coop in the first place.

And let us not overlook... flagrantly ignoring a Congressional Subpoena and... skipping the country (!!!). Didn't a few Nazis try that after Germany surrendered?

Everything listed here has already been reported on, exhaustively, by the media. Could anyone scan the previous decade's résumé of this individual and not see an unwavering career of festering deceit and criminality? Yet in each grandly staged photo-op, there he is, unaware that his immense evil is telegraphed to the lens with even the slightest shifty eyed grin. He is polished, speck-free, possibly even "bright." In the way that the sheen on the skins of wet dog turds may be said to be "bright."

He makes Richard Nixon look like Henry David Thoreau.

A hundred years ago, such a person would face a firing squad.

But no – he will likely get away with it. All of it. He's untouchable – at least in his own twisted mind. He's a higher species than you and me – unshackled by mere morals or ethics, he's that uncaught bird, flying away to some branch too high for any predator – legal or otherwise – to reach. But always certain that the chosen perch is suitable from which to freely crap on those below daring enough to look up.

It will be truly amazing to watch. This living embodiment of everything wrong and ugly about the current condition of government, will continue to be coddled, championed and in some cases sainted by a league of tunnel-visioned loyalists – in the halls of politics, the private sector, and even the media – and his fetid, flatulent influence will continue to spread like mold in the forum of public opinion, as he takes his place among the talking heads and pundits. He did get them to write him his own Rap song, remember?

Then he'll write his obligatory tell-all bestseller, in which he will betray every former ally, and smugly claim victimhood. His controversial past in high office will guarantee him a publishing deal – rather than any discernible writing talent. He'll hire some flunky to check commas and semicolons. There's no way to hook a book to a lie detector. He'll be assured of a continued life free of all money woes. He'll never have to use a time-clock. He'll never wait in line for lunch. And all us tax-payers, with anuses still hurting from his days of unelected, undeserved privilege, will only be able to stand and watch his limo roll by.

But even then, let us never forget, this is that special brand of fiend, whom acquired a high seat of power and used it for every wrong purpose. This is the guy who took a shit in our plate, and told us it was chili.