Little kids running and screaming make me want to, too!
If everything were really your fault, you'd go to the electric chair. If nothing were ever your fault, you'd be really boring.
If you think life should have no rules, hold your dinner out so I can take a few bites of it while I pee on your leg. You say I can't do that? Hey, you just made a rule!
Muffins aren't so great. Just the tops.
NONE of the people using laptop computers in that coffeehouse are using them to solve problems. Eighty percent of all cellphones are being used for pointless brain-free yack-yack – thirteen percent are being used to close semi-illegal business transactions, and the rest are being used by terrorists to remotely detonate explosive devices.
Psychos work in distracted collusion. The sane are alone.
Someone who deserves to be looked up on the Internet, but is inexplicably now missing from all of humanity: Daton. One name... like Madonna and Cher. Daton was a surprisingly engaging lounge singer, whose style was bright, plucky and vaguely Sinatra-like for the first song or two, but never changed from song to song... so it slowly but steadily drained down to tedium by the second-set medly, and turned into a handcart ride to Hell by his closing number. He was a mail carrier or sump-pump repairman by day, who got his "fifteen minutes" in the mid-or-late 1970s when some exec at a mail-order LP company discovered him, and actually allowed him to record a "best of" album. (Hint: there were NO preceding albums from which to glean any "bests.") The Daton album was sold on TV, a 2-record set, as I recall. They correctly surmised that nobody would want a follow-up record, so they put everything on the first. "Gum fly with me, gum fly, lesss fly awaeeeeeeeeeeeee..." It deserves to be on CD, if anyone can locate it. Yes, it's DATON!!!
Tony Bennett sings like he just finished an entire 3-foot long hero sandwich. Robert Goulet sang like he was smoking a cigar through the recording. Bing Crosby sang like he was getting a blowjob. Maybe he was, a few times.
A new beginning doesn't suggest a new attitude, but demands it!
Another thing about people who believe the whole world is centered upon them: don't let them order pizza for the whole group unless you like pesto AND jack cheese on EVERYTHING.
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