It isn't good when your dentist's first words to you are "Don't worry, the room is soundproof."
I wonder if David Copperfield ever feels an urge to pull out an uzi and wipe out the audience when he messes up a trick? After all, they'd tell others.
We are all time travelers, moving into the future at a steady speed of 60 minutes per hour.
Today's rapidly advancing technology allows us to create spaceships that can travel, unmanned, to other planets and send back stunning images of their extraterrestrial surfaces... and to play Halo with a 10-year old kid in Great Britain who beats us using a cheat code, then disconnects after pecking out a misspelled insult about our poor bandwidth and a P.S. to go fuck ourselves.
I'm waiting for the Broadway Musical version of "Godzilla vs. The Smog Monster." You know it's gotta be in someone's head besides mine!
Someone, somewhere, considers us both fucking idiots.
You cannot split infinity, because even if you do, both halves still go on forever in either direction, and the second half still just picks up where the first half left off.
The last cookie, donut, bagel, snack item in the container is the "half-life" one. Who ever comes upon it will break it in two, and eat half... so as not be the person who denies someone else a share. Even if it has been broken in half so many times that it is now a mere nugget. They'll still attempt to leave a portion... Rare is the self-confident individual who sees the last one and takes the whole thing. He or she knows they make more – and if someone comes along wanting one of whatever it was that's now gone, the answer is simple: Go buy another box of the damn things!
I'm beginning to wonder if my ship is being pulled in by a tugboat.
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