Watch out for pedestrians. They aren't as smart as they used to be.
She'll sleep with anyone. I'm not just anyone.
For some reason, I'm not nearly as annoyed at my neighbors for playing loud music, when it's Elvis. Why is that?
Whenever I ponder just what amount of talent and charisma is minimally necessary to earn a living in show business, I eventually think of Pat Sajak... and realize it's NONE.
The one thing that aging has definitely taught me, is to appreciate, as I depreciate.
Someone has to say it: Menudo Doritos is JUST GOING TOO FAR.
I've got an itchin' for a bitchin'! (I have no clue what it means, but it sounds great!)
A flash of tit can turn even the crappiest day around.
A thought, as we enter 2009:
If I could convince you to shut down your Internet connection... put down the remote... leave your iPod at home... never mind that your phone can do all that incredible stuff, and turn it off... take the earphones out... put the Blackberry in your coat pocket... all for just one hour? And avoid even referring to those items in conversation? Now answer this – who are you?
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