I made a personal vow not to take this blog into political waters very often, unless something occurred on the order of an epiphany that compelled my fingers to punish the keyboard about it. If you'll indulge me – my apologies in advance to you who've already figured this crap out.
In 2008, the satirical "newspaper," The Onion, produced their own movie, titled sensibly enough, "The Onion Movie;" a skit-driven film much like "The Groove Tube" and "Kentucky-Fried Movie," spoofing cable-TV news networks and their knack for combining – and often confusing – actual news with integrity-free sensationalism. I gave the film an Ebertesque "thumbs-up," even though not every friend I forced the DVD upon shared my appreciation – and a few may be friends no longer.
There was one scene in particular that I now find disturbingly prophetic, though when I first saw it I just considered it funny. In it is interviewed a "man on the street" so morbidly overweight that his tent-like red shirt nearly makes him indistinguishable from the cars parked on the curb behind him. He yells that it's about time "somebody did something" because he is tired of "bein' obese!"
The conceit of the skit is that the government has apparently found the quick and easy solution for American obesity by simply redefining the term until the problem has become statistically impotent.
Nobody has lost a pound, or missed a single Butterfinger, or gone without a bucket of deluxe extra-greasy Church's. Yet, with the definition pushed way back, suddenly the percentage of the population classified "obese" has taken a refreshing nosedive, overnight. Those who can still even manage a struggled waddle, may now do so around the buffet line with impunity – no matter how bloated and purple their near-bursting ankles.
Only those unfortunate, doughy, lard vat sized Jabba-The-Huts confined to their trailer homes because they can no longer rise out of bed, much less squeeze through their own front door – who need their daily ration of Ho-Hos and pizza funneled through the bedroom window via an elaborate homemade rope-n'-pulley system – who require the presence of gym-muscled nurses to help them bathe and evacuate their tortured bowels – must live with the social curse that is "obesity."
What gawddamm fun! "Madge, we ain't obese no more! Where's my keys, we're celebratin' at Claim Jumper bygawwwd!!"
The epiphany grew gradually as I observed government over the past decade, until it emerged fully-formed, big enough to knock me on my complacent ass. Rather than bore you with politicized histrionics, let me just randomly mention some talking points. See if you notice as I have, the government's method of "curing" serious social ills – by redefining them, until the statistics simply no longer reflect anything urgent... thereby, widening the berth for the problem to explode, go under-reported, and streamline clandestine political agendas.
Ambrose Bierce stated it thus: "Depravity is merely the moral state of anyone holding an opposing viewpoint."
In other words, to disagree is tantamount to admitting defeat. Many, many despots and dictators – and political hot-heads on both the Right and Left – throughout the centuries have based their entitlement to power on this shallow belief.
Let me reiterate, that this dysfunction lives on both sides of the political aisle. Don't watch too closely who's in bed with who, you'll only get depressed when you suddenly realize it's all one big orgy. And we're the ones stuck with the booze bill.
THE REDEFINITION OF REAL ESTATE VALUE
It makes my head spin whenever Alan Greenspan is queried for his take on one of the main battlefronts of our current economical plight, because frankly, it sprang from his loins. His estimations regarding falling interest rates – to affect the stock market for the benefit of his fatcat buddies – eventually gave birth to the sub-prime mortgage stampede.
The euphoric bong hit of greed run amok was destined for a crash of equal proportion. The result was a landscape of financial ruin. Vaporized retirement savings. Destroyed credit histories. Erased futures.
Of course, the Corporate "victims" were redefined as "too big to fail." This didn't make them immune to failure. The ruling cadre of government gravy-slurpers were merely claiming the right – simply because they were in charge – to shore up their personal investments with federal funds. So was born the government's license to dig deep into the taxpayer's pockets to bail these huge, bloated entities out of the hole – in some cases, assume ownership of their assets (without having to share with the taxpayers whose money had made the purchase).
Technically, that means those corporations failed anyway. Only their dirty diapers were relabeled "collateral."
Common homebuyers, with the wolves at their heels, were redefined: Pound-foolish cretins who had no business qualifying for those mortgage loans in the first place. Summarily, they were on their own. Problem? What problem? As Charles Dickens had Scrooge proclaim: "Are there no workhouses?"
THE REDEFINITION OF TERRORISM, THE "WAR" ON EACH OTHER
Until September 11, 2001, America thought it knew what a "terrorist" was: Over there.
Terrorism redefining its boundaries sent us into a tailspin to redefine our perception of it. The ongoing, evolving redefinition of the word "terrorist" has created a fearful, paranoid – yet strangely arrogant – social climate in this country. Now we're all potential terrorists, even when the cause championed is American liberty, and the tactics used, no matter how peaceable, are judged against ignorant stereotypic notions...
Liberals are elitist snobs. Over-educated yet street-stupid. Communist/socialist leaning secularists. Faith hating, evolutionist Deity-phobes. Sarcastic, flag burning, cliquish champions of pessimism. Etcetera.
Some of them are. Some.
Conservatives are common-clay morons. Gun/flag waving rednecks. Beer chugging reactionaries. Inbred, church-dependent science-deniers. Racist, homophobic, isolationist, globally ignorant cattle. Etcetera.
Some of them are. Some.
Unfortunately, the majority tends toward silence. The fringe element usually serves to embody the identity of the entire group, to the opposing side's thinking.
Stereotypes once "owned" by certain societal factions are not just changing, but making 180-degree swings. If the sitcom "All In The Family" were produced for the current generation, Archie Bunker might be a Liberal, and Meathead a young Republican.
TOXIC UNIONIZATION
I am not down on Unions. I have myself belonged to several in my professional life. I belong to one now, and have been an active participant in Union negotiations – in one case I was the sole signature-signer of a Union contract affecting over a hundred coworkers, when the "official" representatives were conspicuous no-shows. There are still a couple of Unions whose membership I hope to acquire.
I cannot deny that, as an hourly-wage employee, I've enjoyed the benefits of a Union watching my back. I've also seen Union regulation run rampant to the point of self-destruction.
Union leaders can be just as susceptible to the hallucinogenic addictions of power and greed as their corporate counterparts.
I was a bit stunned not too long ago by a comment from a fellow union member, concerning general economics – that businesses existed, first and foremost, for job creation. My jaw loosened and wagged in the wind like a wet beach towel on a clothesline.
No, they don't. Businesses exist to turn a profit for their owners. Show me a business owner – or stockholder – who doesn't devote primary energy to the pursuit of profit, and I'll show you a budding failure.
That evil profit line, vilified in the mind of my fellow unioner – whose vision of a perfect world is likely an entire Main Street of 501c3's – is what keeps a business in business, and the growing needs of a thriving enterprise are what in turn, out of necessity, create new jobs. Yes, to the thinking of some, a too-harsh reality.
Viewing profit as utter evil, some Unions feel perfectly justified attempting to eradicate it from the landscape. This sets the downward spiral in motion, as less and less profit dictates a ravenous need to downsize – which worsens working conditions and disintegrates jobs – which destroys morale – which infuriates the Union into an even more hardline posture – which starts the hellish cycle anew.
Consider the words of arguably our greatest President, Abraham Lincoln: "A house divided cannot stand." One side over-stresses the other, the system collapses. Isn't that what's happening now? Ask the once proud autoworkers of Michigan what the redefinition of business's purpose has done for their industry over the past 20 years. In Detroit there are homes with selling prices pushed back to 1960s levels – and still no takers. The proposal is even now on the table to bulldoze empty neighborhoods and reclaim the land for agriculture.
That might create a few jobs. For migrant workers, illegal or otherwise? Who knows. Let's not go there, the discussion is already sprawling.
We could go on with this. I think I've illustrated my point. As you watch the news, open your eyes just a bit wider, to see if you spot "redefinition" happening – in lieu of legitimate action toward real solutions.
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